Reindeer Tales

It was a beautiful, warm autumn day.

Santa’s reindeer were all together out in their favorite pasture. There was the usual Team, the “famous eight” which most people know by name. Rudolf, of course, was there. There were a lot of old, retired Team members, too, as well as a bunch of new recruits – younger reindeer who were being trained to replace the current Team members if anyone got sick – became too old to fly anymore.

The herd had spent the day working hard.

Cardio. Drills. Learning signs. Studying maps.

And much, much more…..

Santa’s Team had been working with some of the younger ones on flying.

Basically, teaching them how to fly.

Not everyone was going to be able to fly and pull Santa and his sleigh, of course, but those who could needed a lot of practice. They also needed to spend time studying routes: how they got from place to place, all over the world, in just one night.

Summers were busy. It was really a lot of work getting ready for The Big Night!

But right now, everyone needed a break. This was a time for telling stories.

Fun. Sometimes scary. But also educational. Stories.

The stories usually started with, “Remember the time…?”

“Remember that big Thanksgiving Day parade when….?”

“Remember when Santa told everybody that…?”

“Remember that time when he forgot…?” “…he lost a bag…”

Stories like this one.

Remember that one year when we got caught in the terrible storm?” There were nods and grimaces all around from the older reindeer. “Tell us about it!” the younger ones said. “Boy, that’s a good one! Lots of lessons to be learned. OK, then…here goes.”

Comet started telling the story.

It was a very cold and windy Christmas Eve many years ago. One of the coldest and windiest anyone could remember.

It was not the kind of night that the reindeer wanted to be flying around the world.

But because it was Christmas, they had to!

So they got ready.

The elves were busy loading toy bags into the sleigh.

Santa was busy dressing as warm as he could.

Mrs. Claus was busy brewing up some hot tea for the trip.

The reindeer were busy with their pre-flight warm-up, and going over the route Santa had given them for that year’s trip.

Everybody was excited, but it wasn’t the fun kind of excitement they usually felt before Christmas Eve. No, it was more of a nervous excitement.

(Oh, by the way, Comet noted, this was before Rudolf joined the Team.)

When the last of Santa’s bags were in the sleigh, when the Team was all harnessed up, and when Santa was just about ready to climb aboard, the old man whispered to Donner and Blitzen, the two lead reindeer, “This storm is really bad! We can’t even see the stars to help us navigate.

Got any ideas how we should do this tonight?”

“Well,” started Donner, “we could fly the route in reverse. Maybe we could stay ahead of the wind and snow.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s right,” Donner said.

“Instead of flying into the storm,” Blitzen suggested, “what if we head a little north first, then west, and try to fly around it?”

“We’ll be flying by the seat of our pants,” Santa noted. “In this storm, even our old compass doesn’t work well. But….”

So that’s what they decided to do.

Remember, this was before Rudolf!

Throughout that Christmas Eve, they did get blown off course,

got lost once or twice,

got to some places a little later than usual, and

generally had a tough time delivering all the gifts.

It was NOT a fun trip. but in the end, they made it home safely.

Boy, did they ever need a rest after that night!

“Phew! We never want to do that again!” Santa said when they were safely home.

“Did we learn anything tonight?”

Comet was quick to reply, “We need some new safety stuff!”

In the spring, Santa got a new compass and a couple big flashlights.

Oh, and guess who joined the Team soon after that.

On the other side of the field, Vixen started to chuckle. The chuckle turned into a full, loud laugh.

“What’s so funny?” one of the new guys asked.

“I was just thinking about Rudolf,” Vixen answered. “Remember that time when….?”

That’s when Vixen started to tell a new story,

one that the young reindeer had not heard before.

It was late in the summer a few years after that terrible, stormy Christmas Eve. The whole herd was just relaxing before they really had to start their pre-Christmas exercises. All the regular sleigh-pulling Team was there – and by now, that included Rudolf.

There were also a bunch of new recruits being trained to join the group.

On that afternoon, they were relaxing, just tossing a frisbee around.

(A frisbee? Yep! Can you imagine a herd of reindeer playing frisbee?)

Well….

Wingnut, one of the new young bucks, let his frisbee fly. He gave it a good hard throw. And wouldn’t you know, but it hit Rudolf in the nose. His nose.

It broke his nose, in fact!

Oh sure, Rudolf’s nose was still red, but now it was a swollen, bruised-up red. Not the kind of bright, headlight red Santa needed to lead the Team on Christmas Eve.

“Oh, no!” they all thought! “What are we going to do now? What are we going to tell Santa?”

“Maybe he won’t notice,” one of the young reindeer said.

“Are you kidding?!” came the reply – from almost everybody.

Trudy, one of the old, old-timers, trotted off to get some bandages and some ice. When she got back, she packed on the ice and wrapped up Rudolf’s nose. “How does it feel?” she asked.

“I can’t feel anything,” Rudolf answered. “I can’t smell.

And I’m pretty sure I can’t light up!”

The whole Team just about freaked out!

The older reindeer and the young trainees all agreed not to tell Santa – yet. Rudolf would have to kind of hide, stay inside their barn, eat alone, and just rest for a while. They did have time before Christmas, so they just hoped – and prayed – that

Rudolf’s nose would heal up in time.

In the meantime, they tried to come up with some ideas:

“Maybe we can all get some flashlights….”

“Maybe the elves can make us something….”

“Maybe we can find a flying car to lead us….”

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe….

It took almost all the time between that day and Christmas for Rudolf’s nose to heal. Trudy was in charge of that. The hardest part was keeping it a secret from Santa while making sure that Rudolf was staying in shape to fly.

It was a couple weeks before Christmas when Rudolf was well enough to come out with the others, and to see Santa. His nose was almost back to normal – but almost wasn’t quite good enough.

It looked fine in the daytime, but not all that bright when it got dark.

It was a serious story, but the way Vixen told it, everyone was laughing so hard! Santa even laughed when the reindeer finally told him…..a few years later!

OK, you guys.” It was Rudolf talking this time. “That was a good story. But I have a real doozy! And it’s a good lesson for all the newbies!”

Rudolf didn’t really talk very much, so when he did everybody listened really hard.

“So … you heard about that terrible trip before I joined the Team. You heard about my nose, my bright red nose. It was broken, but it healed up. Well, noses don’t usually shine like mine does, but they do usually smell things.”

That was all it took.

The Team knew what was coming next, and they started to laugh so hard that the others could barely hear Rudolf.

It all happened many years ago.

That year, Santa and Mrs. Claus had sent out a note to their helpers around the world. The note let people know that Santa and the reindeer really, really appreciated the snacks and goodies that folks left Santa and his Team. Cookies. Coffee cake. Lots of carrots. Sometimes celery. Shots of whiskey…

But the Clauses wanted everyone to know that the reindeer cannot eat the raw, crunchy vegetables. Especially those carrots! Reindeer just don’t have the right teeth to chew them up. And they can really mess up a reindeer’s tummy!

Every Christmas, Santa had to load lots of carrots back into his sleigh and bring bags and bags – and bags – of them back to the North Pole.

The elves would eat some, cook some, and give lots to food banks and friends.

The reindeer do like to eat other things, though. They love raisins. And cranberries. And mushrooms. And of course, moss and their favorite: lichens.

Children didn’t usually leave those things out,

but every once in a while, the reindeer got some great treats.

Rudolf went on with his story.

That Christmas Eve many years ago was cold. Not as windy and stormy as the year they almost got lost, but just plain cold.

Mrs. Claus wanted Santa and his Team to be warmed up, so she made big pots of nice, sweet baked beans for everyone. There was plenty to go around, and everybody was warm and full before they had to fly out that night.

The sleigh was loaded and ready just before midnight. Routes were checked. The Team was harnessed. Santa climbed aboard.

At midnight, they headed out – flying west toward the Pacific, then south toward Australia. There were many, many stops along the way.

There were many, many treats along the way, as usual. After the baked beans, Mrs. Claus had also packed some of the Team’s favorite mosses and other goodies to eat, and there were more raisins and fruits that year than usual.

Team had to stay energized and full all night.

Santa and the Team made good time that year. Where it was cold, it was very cold, but where it was warmer, it was quite pleasant. Flying over Europe got pretty chilly, though.

Finally, after all their stops in England, then Ireland, they continued westward over the cold Atlantic toward North America. One of their last stops would be Hawaii.

Rudolf, of course, was in front, leading the way.

That meant it was cold. It also meant that the Team had to fly harder and faster to be sure they got Santa to the homes in America on time.

That’s when all the “fun” started.

That’s when all the beans and raisins, fruits and moss kicked in.

Rudolf was the first.

He started with just a little “pfpfffftt!” Hardly enough to notice.

But Donner and Blitzen did notice!

“Eeeough!” they snorted. “What was that?”

Rudolf said nothing. He just kept lighting the way.

Soon there was another. A little bigger and louder. It came from Rudolf again, but another one also came from Blitzen. And then Prancer. Then Comet. Dancer. Pop-pop-pop! Parumpppp! Ssssssttttt! Frraaaapppp! On and on…..

It turned into a flying, farty fantasy! A bum burp symphony! A Christmas cacophony!

A nose-nasty nocturn that seemed to just go on and on!

All the reindeer – except Rudolf, of course – tried to not breathe in the air.

But they had to fly hard and fast, and the wind carried the farts

right back toward them.

Of course, the fragrance was stronger and stronger for the pairs of reindeer the farther back in the Team.

But it was the worst for Santa, himself.

And there was nothing he could do about it. He had to drive the sleigh.

He had to keep the Team on course.

He had to stay focused.

He had to breathe – and that got harder and harder to do.

Santa Claus almost passed out!

Somewhere before they reached Newfoundland, things began to settle down. At least a little bit.

Rudolf finished by saying, “Finally, by the time we got to Canada, the stinky symphony stopped. Everybody was relieved, but nobody was more relieved than Santa himself. He could breathe again!”

“One more thing,” Cupid added. “After that trip, Santa made a new rule:

No beans before take off!”

And that’s been the rule ever since.

Needless to say, the whole herd of reindeer was rolling on the ground laughing!

There are lots more reindeer tales. Lots more!

For everyone at the North Pole, summers are busy. There is really a lot of work getting ready for The Big Night!

There is also time for stories. The stories are fun, funny, and educational.

The stories often start with, “Remember the time…?” “Remember that big Thanksgiving Day parade when….?” “Remember when Santa told everybody that…?” “Remember that time when he forgot…?” “…when he lost a bag…” “When……”

Wait….lost a bag?

Ah, yes. But that’s another story for another day.