Neil Sadaka
J-M-J!
“Jesus. Mary. And Joseph!” Hugh snarled. “We tried goddamn hard to warn him.”
He was talking to no one in particular. He was loud. It was noisy. Nobody paid any attention. Nobody turned to ask what he was so pissed about. Hugh knew, though. He was so goddam angry that it was probably a blessing that he stood momentarily alone.
Justin was his best friend. They had a relatively short but very tight relationship. Both lived in a small town about 20 miles from their high school, and the daily commute on the rusty old school bus had served to strengthen their bond over time. The bus is another story for another time. Suffice it to say that the daily 45-minute ride with about 25 or so other students from their area had its ups and downs, but the kids did get to know one another.
Justin was not originally from Hugh’s hometown. The town was small, but it was the center of Hugh’s known world. Everybody knew everybody. Hugh had grown up and gone to school with the same kids from kindergarten through 8th grade. Back in the day, they had been a class of 49 crammed into one classroom. That’s right. 49. The kids didn’t know it back then, and there was no real classification system, but the 49 included some of the smartest and brightest, as well as some of the slowest, most needy kids around. Everybody spoke English, but many were bilingual, although that was never mentioned in school. They were tight knit; many of their families had “come over on the boat” together at some point or other in the past.
Hugh had never been to Justin’s hometown. Justin grew up in the suburbs of a large city across the state and had moved to the little town when he was about to start high school. The one thing the little town had was an excellent hospital, and Justin’s father was a renowned doctor. Moving from the big city to all-but-rural America would have been a challenge at any age but moving at the start of high school was especially hard.
Justin’s family had chosen the closest – and the only – private high school for their two high school-aged children, Justin and his older sister who was going into her junior year. Hugh had wanted to go to that school for years, even though it meant that he would not see most of his old friends on a daily basis anymore. There was one other kid from his elementary school, but that was about it. Everyone else was new. In that respect, Hugh and Justin would be similar.
So, as they started high school, they would have a new school, new friends, and a long bus ride in common.
Under the best of circumstances, starting high school can be rough. Elementary schools tend to be smaller. Kids tend to have known each other for years. Often one teacher has a group for the whole year – maybe 2 or 3. Pecking orders are established. Neighborhoods are used to categorize kids – and families. Coming into high school as new freshmen, everything is turned upside down. High schools are big. Kids from different elementary schools are thrown together in classes full of strangers. If lucky, there might be an old friend in a same class. Classes change with the bell. Teachers change with the class. Pecking orders start from scratch. And sometimes, elementary schools, themselves, are used to categorize kids.
Justin and Hugh experienced all of that. Hugh had one advantage. Although he came from his small town 20 miles away, there were a few upper classmen across the grades from his town, too. And one or two had become football and basketball stars. Knowing them was an advantage. Justin had a couple things going for him, as well. Remember his older sister? Well, she was a knockout! An instant hit among the older guys in school. Justin also did not have any elementary school baggage, and he did have a cute ‘accent.’ His big-city background showed every time he opened his mouth. The fact that he was a really good-looking guy also helped.
There were disadvantages, as well. The boys were too young to drive, and the school was far away. The girls in their small town – any girls they might want to get to know, at least – were taken. Quickly committed to other guys whom they saw daily. As their teenage hormones flowed through their developing bodies, the boys were left to fend for themselves. There were girls who rode the school bus, but the one or two they might want to ask out were also taken.
School dances were hard to get to, so they developed some work-arounds. One was asking one of the parents to drive a carload of kids to the school. It got them to the dances, but it meant that they had to be ready to leave when the parents had either finished dinner or finished shopping. Other times, the freshman boys who wanted to go to the dances would team up with older schoolmates. A couple of freshman would pay for the gas, and a couple of upperclassmen – usually juniors – would drive them to the dances. Once or twice, the school bus driver drove couples dressed in their finest to some of the fancier functions on the clunky old bus.
In the end, dating was precarious.
As time went on, though, both boys not only survived but thrived. Their friendship helped. They had each other to commiserate with. And Justin had his older sister and her older friends to turn to when things were rough. And finally, they drew on their parents’ willingness to help out with travel – sometimes.
They went to parties; they went to dances. Because Hugh had friends in their hometown, Justin also made friends there. There were a couple “couples” around, but not having steadies was the norm. Guys and girls hung out together, but actual dating was not required.
By junior year, they had drivers’ licenses. Hugh got his first, before the start of the year. Some of the other guys from the school bus did, as well. It wasn’t too late into the year that Justin got his, too. That helped a lot with the dating situation. Now, they were mobile, a bit freer to go out with girls, and felt a lot more grown up to boot.
They also had jobs. One of the side bennies of their long bus ride came on the form of an all-but-guaranteed weekend job. A couple of the older guys on the bus were cousins whose dads owned a restaurant. Actually, a very nice, upscale restaurant. As the brother-owners’ kids grew up, they were all expected to work in one capacity or another at the restaurant. There were more jobs than kids, so friends of theirs had been conscripted into service as well. Mainly as busboys. And since it was a high-end place, the busboys did pretty well – especially for kids in high school. Jobs meant money.
Justin never had any trouble with the ladies. He was a handsome, athletic type, his dad was a doctor, he was funny, polite, and basically cool. Now, as a 16-year-old junior, he could drive, and he had his own money. Hugh was also good looking, but more on the shy side. Although there were a lot of girls he would have liked to ask out, he often had a hard time getting up the nerve. Hanging out with Justin did help. Between the two of them, they did OK.
It wasn’t far into their junior year when Justin noticed Mimi. Of course, he’d seen her for the previous two years, too, but now it was different. Mimi was a pretty, petite blonde with a body like a young Dolly Parton. The kids had a word to describe girls who looked like Mimi back in the day: tough. ‘Tough” captured hot, foxy, sexy, good-looking, cool…. There was no denying the fact that Mimi was tough!
Word had it, though, that she was going with a kid named Jack who was a couple grades older. They had gone to elementary school together. Because Justin had been a new kid freshman year, and because Mimi and Jack’s elementary school had been in a different part of town from the high school, Justin never really knew who Jack was. But now, Jack had graduated, gone into the military or something, and Mimi was looking available. To Justin, at least.
It’s a funny thing about high school, just as kids from a bunch of elementary schools came together into a much larger school, and just as log established elementary school social pecking orders had to be rebuilt in the larger environment, those elementary schools, themselves, had a pecking order. Depending on their size, location in town, socio-economics of their populations, ethnic make-up, and so on, the schools, themselves, often determined where kids started their high school social climb. Hugh was from a different town. The town was known, but more or less neutral. He could fit in with whatever group took him in. Justin was from a whole other place. He had his cool accent, and his dad was a doctor. Instant ‘in’ with the A-list kids. Mimi lived in a working class part of town. The word “tough” carried it traditional meaning along with the cool, current meaning. She had it in her to survive. In a way, the A-list guys sometimes saw her as an easy target, while the A-list girls saw her as competition, in a way. Justin knew or saw none of that. Hugh was basically oblivious to this.
So Mimi was available. Justin was looking. She caught his eye. He was smitten.
The first school dance of junior year was coming up. It was going to be help on the last Friday evening on September – about 3 weeks into the new year. At the school gym. It wasn’t anything formal. Dances like this one were generally just chances for kids to meet, listen to music, maybe even dance. Girls on one side of the gym. Boys on the other. There were exceptions, however. But everyone knew who they were.
For this first dance, the school bus from the boys’ hometown made a special run. Any of the student riders who wanted to go to the dance could ride. The bus was as full as any regular day of school. The main difference was the look and smell. The kids were dressed up, even if only a little bit. And they were wearing their favorite fragrances – perfumes and after shaves. Phew!
Justin’s goal was to find Mimi. Then, to dance at least one time with her. Then, if all went well during that dance, to ask her out on a date. A movie, maybe. If all that worked out, he would have to find somebody for Hugh to ask out so that they could double date. After all, it was a long rode alone – both ways.
The bus arrived; everyone got off. Some of the kids went straight inside; others lingered outside. Justin went straight in. Hugh lingered a bit but followed in short order.
By the time Hugh got fully into the gym, Justin was fully engaged in conversation with Mimi. He had a goal, after all, and he was following his plan. Hugh walked over to say hi to the two of them and walked off to find some other friends to hang with. Before long, Justin joined him and some other guys. His smile spoke volumes.
Most of the guys danced with somebody or other over the course of the evening. They’d cluster back together, compare notes, and generally bullshit about school, sports, girls… Justin went back to talk or dance with Mimi several times.
As time went on, some of the guy-cluster BS focused on Justin. “Mimi’s hot,” one of the guys commented, “And Justin looks like he needs to cool down!”
“What’s he thinking?” another guy asked.
“You know what he’s thinking,” another friend shot back with a sly smile.
“No, I mean, really -what is he thinking? Doesn’t he know about her?”
Hugh jumped in, “What? What do you mean?”
“I mean…Jack! She’s going with Jack, for God’s sake!”
Hugh’s turn again, “What? Who?”
So the story began to come out. Everybody knew that Mimi was going with Jack. They’d been going together since about 7th or 8th grade. Jack was older, and he had graduated. He was gone. Out of town. But they were still going together. Hugh was taken aback.
“What? No way! No shit!”
And so it went. Jack was gone. In the Navy or something. But the two of them were still tight. Maybe Mimi needed a little attention in the meantime. Some fun. Who knew?
Justin rejoined his buddies. He took Hugh aside and told him that Mimi had agreed to go out with him. Now, he said, they needed to find a date for Hugh so that they could double. Hugh was surprised – double surprised, actually. First by the conversation he’d had with the other guys, and now with Justin’s plan to double date.
The dance ended and the bus ride home began.
Justin was almost giddy; Hugh was silent. Justin started first. “So – who are you going to ask out?”
That question was not what was on Hugh’s mind. He was thinking about the other conversation he’d had with the guys.
The two friends talked about Justin’s question. They considered a list of possibilities. Mimi, as it turned out, only had a few close girl friends. The guys knew most of them – and none was anyone Hugh wanted to go out with. Hugh named off a few girls he might be comfortable asking out. It was short notice, and he’d never had a going-out conversation with any of them. As they rode home, they narrowed it down to three: Cathy, Kathy, and Kate. (Who knew?) Catherine and Kathleen were both classmates at school. Kate was a good friend of Hugh’s since elementary school. She had met Justin, but had no idea who Mimi was. She was maybe the safest, all the way around. The guys picked a date about two weeks out, opted for a movie and some food afterwards. Now all Hugh had to do was ask Kate.
Two weeks later, the four of them went to a movie. Biggest challenge was talking Kate’s parents into letting her go all the way to the ‘city’ to see a movie. They knew Hugh and his family, and they’d met Justin, so they allowed Kate to go. Justin , Hugh and Kate drove the 20 miles or so to Mimi’s house and picked her up. They saw some silly comedy – after much discussion about whether to see a musical or a shoot-‘em-up Western. Afterwards, they got burgers at the best hamburger place in town. They had a great time together. They dropped Mimi off, and Justin, Hugh and Kate drove the 20 miles or so home.
Great start to a relationship!
Later, though, Kate told Hugh that, when the girls had gone to the ladies’ room together, Mimi had mentioned some guy named Jack. She’d accidently called Justin Jack, and explained that she had this other guy who she had dated, and his name was Jack. Kate asked if Hugh knew Jack. He told Kate that he didn’t, but that he had heard of him.
Time went on. Justin and Mimi went out more and more.
And as they did, more and more kids – both guys and girls – talked to Hugh about Mimi and Jack. “He’s being played.” “He’s gonna get hurt.” “You gotta talk to him.” “He’s too nice a guy to be used like this.”
Hugh did talk to Justin, too. The more serious the two of them seemed to get, the more Hugh heard stories. And the more he tried to warn his good friend. Justin heard no one of it.
In all fairness, what he wanted to talk about were the good things about Mimi. And there were many. She was very pretty. She was funny. She was smart. In many ways, she was kind. Hugh had to admit that, in many respects, he actually liked her. She was fun to be around. She did take care of some of Justin’s needs. But it was difficult to overlook that she was satisfying more of her own than of his. It was also difficult to overlook that she was never fully honest with Justin.
During the summers between their junior and senior years of school, Hugh and Justin lifeguarded together. In the evenings, they often double dated. Hugh with different girls; Justin with Mimi. Their time at the pool gave them time to talk without anyone else listening. They were moving through their high school years, They had established themselves fairly high in their high school hierarchy. Because they were outside the home-town, in-school ranking system, had a lot of local friends, and had jobs and money, they moved in good circles locally, as well. Among all the friend groups, post-high school options became more of an ongoing topic.
Standing in the sun, surrounded by little kids and girls in bikinis, Justin admitted that he was torn. His family expected him to apply to and attend the prestigious university which his older brother was attending. Justin was concerned, though, because he’d be away from Mimi, who was more likely to start a job near home after school. It was during these conversations that Hugh tried repeatedly to tell his best friend that the girl was still very committed to the other guy, Jack. Justin wasn’t hearing it. And if he heard it, he was not accepting it.
Quite the opposite.
One day late that summer, both Justin and Hugh would have the same day off from their lifeguard duties.
“Let’s go for a ride,” Justin said. Hugh asked where.
“I want to go back to the place I used to live and get something.” It would be about a 3-4 hour ride each way. Hugh had never been to the city, so, after checking with his parents, they decided to go.
It was a long, pretty drive. The boys talked most of the way. They eventually reached the suburb where Justin had grown up. They stopped at one store. A jewelry store. Justin had saved enough money to buy a beautiful, but small ring with a tiny diamond. As rings go, it really was neither expensive, nor showy, but Justin wanted to shop and buy the ring with no one else around. Except Hugh, of course. Hugh was stunned. Justin was excited, He said that he hoped to give the ring to Mimi someday. It was a long, pretty drive home. The boys didn’t talk much.
And so it went.
Senior year arrived. Advanced classes. College applications. Yearbook pictures. Class rings. Senior Day. Awards. Acceptance letters. Prom. It’s a heady time for a teen.
Dates were taken to a higher level. Where a movie and a hamburger were once acceptable, it was now dress up and dinner at a fine restaurant. It was drives to special places, and barely making curfew. Justin and Mimi did it all. They didn’t always double with other couples, either. They acted like a real couple. Except that the girls still talked. They talked among themselves. They talked to their boyfriends. They talked. Because Mimi had been dating Justin, she had been invited to some of the more elite, higher status gatherings.
She let her guard down from time to time, and her old and true feelings about Justin and Jack came out. Justin was a great guy. Any girl would be crazy not to go out with him. He was cute, smart, funny, had a car. And he was rich. They did wonderful things together. He filled a need for her. But Jack was her man. No, her Man. They’d be together after graduation and after his stint in the Navy.
Some of the guys tried to tell Justin. The more they heard, they more they knew that he would be deeply hurt, and they did not want that to happen to somebody as nice as he was. They talked even more to Hugh. “You gotta convince him, Bro! He’s gonna go down, big time!”
Hugh laid it out to Justin as clearly as he could. He agreed that Mimi was tough. Hot. Built like a brick shithouse. A great dancer. Funny. But she was also committed to that other guy, Jack. She’d been writing, calling, and even seeing him whenever he was home and Justin was elsewhere. Hugh told Justin that going to get badly hurt. Dumped. As graduation got closer, so did the break-up.
Justin would hear none of it. In fact, he got pretty pissed at Hugh. He trusted his friend, but he refused to believe what Hugh and others were saying. But he, himself, never brought it up to Mimi. God only knows what she might have told him. But whatever that might have been, Justin never heard it.
As senior prom came and went. It was a fantastic evening. Justin and Mimi, Hugh and his date doubled once again. It was hard on Hugh. It was uncomfortable for his date, as well. She knew what would be coming soon.
As high school graduation came closer and closer, Justin and Mimi talked about the future – their future. Justin was going off to college; Mimi would not. Justin talked about the times when she might come and visit him on campus. She smiled and played along. She knew the truth of it all, but she still played him.
On graduation day, all the seniors were capped and gowned. All their families were present to celebrate. After the ceremony, classmates all said their good-byes with hugs and tears. Old friends went to catch up with parents, grandparents, siblings and friends.
Justin found his family. Mimi founds hers. Justin’s family had planned a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant. Mimi was invited to join them. She declined saying that her own family was also planning a party.
Smiling, Justin looked across the lobby of the auditorium to wave good-bye to Mimi. There, surrounded by her family, Mimi stood in the warm embrace of Jack. She looked across the lobby and waved good-bye to Justin. And like that, it was over. Forever.
Justin stood alone. Unmoving. Staring into emptiness, emptiness filled with laughter and old friends.
“Jesus. Mary. And Joseph!” Hugh snarled, glad that no one was close by. “What the hell is wrong with that guy!?” He was so goddam angry on this otherwise happy day that it was a blessing he stood momentarily alone.
He caught Justin’s eye across the lobby. A brief exchange. Justin gave a small, semi-shrug and an all but imperceptible smile. Hugh nodded. Justin tossed something into the nearby rubbish bin.
Justin turned to his smiling mom and dad and left with his family.